Scroll down to read along with the imperfect transcript

Imagine winning 37 million dollars tomorrow and never having to work again … What would you do with your time? Dive with me into my transformative 3Cs framework – Clarity, Confidence, and Courage – designed to break the cycle of uncertainty. Learn how these elements can lead to a never-ending cycle of self-love, self-care, and joy in your legal life.

In this episode, we unravel the formula for lawyers seeking a profound shift in their professional and personal lives. I share insights on how clarity, confidence, and courage are what you need to unlock a fulfilling legal career. Here are five key takeaways:

Select Takeaways & Quotes from the Episode

Self-Reflection for Transformation:

“What would you do with your time if you won 37 million dollars tomorrow? Your answer holds the key to transforming your legal journey.”

Takeaway: Embrace self-reflection as the catalyst for a transformative legal career.

The 3Cs Framework: A Never-Ending Cycle:

“Clarity, Confidence, and Courage create a beautiful, never-ending cycle of self-love, self-care, and joy.”

Takeaway: Understand how the 3Cs form a cyclical process, propelling you towards a more satisfying legal life.

Clarity: The Foundation of Joyful Lawyering:

“Clarity is knowing specifics – who, what, where, why, when, how. It’s the cornerstone for peace and radical honesty.”

Takeaway: Learn why clarity is the foundation, leading to radical honesty, improved transparency, and identifying what you truly want.

Recognizing and Overcoming Common Pitfalls: 

“Many lawyers experience pain from being unclear and uncertain. It’s time to recognize and overcome these pitfalls.”

Takeaway: Acknowledge common pitfalls and take active steps to overcome uncertainty and lack of clarity.

Empowerment Through Decision-Making:

“You are the secret sauce. Tap into what YOU want + WHY, make a plan, and go get it!”

Takeaway: Empower yourself by making decisions based on your internal desires and motivations.

This episode (and the entire podcast, let’s be honest) is a guide for lawyers ready to break free from the ordinary and create a legal journey filled with purpose, satisfaction, and success!

Your Next Step

Let’s connect via email! I’ll send you notifications on new podcast episodes, free resources, behind the scenes activities, first dibs at workshops and VIP Pre-Public Access, and more!

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Imperfect Transcript from this Episode

Alright, so let’s talk about what we came here to talk about: BUILDING YOUR JOYFUL & THRIVING LAWYER LIFE! 💥🙋🏽‍♀️🎉✨🥰

Let’s dip back into the last episode – those three questions, that I’ll mention again now, so that you can refresh yourself – or, if you know, you skipped straight to this episode and have no idea what I talked about in Episode 10 … so you and I are on the same page.

So, the first question is my favorite to ask new clients, and one we revisit often in our work together: If you won 37 million dollars tomorrow and never HAD to work another day in your life, what would you do with your time? Not the money, we know what you’d do with the money. But your time: how would you spend your days and evenings?

Answer that … and if you want to pause to write it out, go ahead.

*PAUSE*

The second question was this: Why did you get into the law in the first place? (And for some bonus critical thinking extra credit points – Whose idea was it? When did you decide to go into law? Do you remember the exact moment?)

*PAUSE*

And the third question was simple: Who do you serve now, who do you help? And once you answer that question, I want you to consider whether that matches your second answer. My experience has been that it won’t … if you’re listening to this podcast, it’s because you want something more in your career. 

I’m here for you. 

So, with that frame, let’s talk about my Joyful & Thriving™ Lawyer Formula! 

My Joyful and Thriving Formula is a 3Cs framework to help you to build your own Joyful and Thriving™ Lawyer Life. Grab a pen, you’re going to want to write this stuff down.

So, those three questions I just asked you again … are the questions that will help you get to the heart of what matters to you. 

Knowing the answers to these three questions helps you to begin to start seeing your reality through a clean set of lenses.

Which brings me to my 3Cs. The 3Cs are Clarity … Confidence … and Courage. And I’ll explain the sub-levels of each one, but for now, know that these 3Cs … they’re a never ending cycle .. and it’s a beautiful thing … every single time you get clarity about who you are, what you want, what you want to do, what you see your joyful and thriving life to be like, you get closer to confidence. And once you have confidence, courage is not far behind. And when you get that clarity, and get that confidence, you feel better about taking that first baby step and that next baby step towards what you really want. And once you do that, you get something, but it’s not what you think. Most people think you get more confidence or you get more courage, but in reality, what you get is MORE CLARITY. 

That second level of clarity is what lends to more confidence, and then more courage. And then AGAIN – you get more clarity. And that’s what I mean by a never ending cycle – it’s a cycle of self-love, self-care, and joy. 

Now, look, we’ll talk about what happens when people skip steps, but for now, just write these 3Cs down: Clarity. Confidence. Courage.

So, remember: what you need is NOT EXTERNAL – there is no secret sauce someone can give you to do and check off some boxes and make it work. What you need is INTERNAL – you are the secret. YOU are the secret sauce, but you need someone to help you tap into what YOU want + WHY – then you make a plan, and go and get it!

So, let’s go deeper into the 3Cs – Clarity, Confidence and Courage.

First up, Clarity. 

When I say Clarity, I mean

• Radical honesty
• Transparency
• And identifying who and what you want
  • The kinds of clients and the kinds of services you actually want and the kinds of pay you actually want

When I say Confidence, I mean

• Acknowledging who you really are, deep down that you keep ignoring
• Pinpointing what you’ll put up with (and not), and
• Feeling good about why you want what you want

And when I say Courage, I mean

• Saying what you want
• Doing only what you want
• And Saying no to what you don’t want and yes to only what you want

And maybe you’re rolling your eyes a bit right now – stop minimizing yourself – right now. Please. 

Or maybe you’re thinking uhhhhhhhh – duh. 🤣

This is why I’m here with you today. I want you to ACTIVELY consider how having (or not having) those three key skills is affecting your current life, career, team, or business if you have one. And how all of those things are preventing you from getting what you want.

Where are you missing Clarity? Confidence? Courage?

AND, do you have what it takes to get them?

Acknowledging that you are missing key pieces of what you need to be Joyful and thriving is the FIRST STEP.

So, let’s go back to Clarity for a bit. This is the one I want to focus on – because you need this BEFORE you can have confidence and courage, okay?

Ultimately, Clarity is knowing specifics – who, what, where, why, when, how. 

Clarity is important because without it, you’ll continue to do, say, give in, and accept things and people that are not good for you. Work, home, community – everywhere.

The biggest mistake that I see people make around clarity is that they think they are clear in what they want to do and what kind of people they want to work with – BUT THEY AREN’T – because they take anything that walks through the door, say yes to everything, and even when they know better, THEY STILL GO AGAINST what they know is right.

When you think about the 5 trauma responses – fight, flight, freeze, fawn and flop, the one I see the most with lawyers is FAWN. People-pleasing is a trauma response – and if you’ve always bad experiences with clients or your j.o.b.s in some way shape or form, you begin to expect it – and that’s where you’re going wrong.

So, LET’S BE HONEST ABOUT THIS.

Once you master clarity, you’re able to speak and think with complete and radical honesty, your relationships with your clients and partners and even family members will improve exponentially, and you’ll have identified what you want out of your life, your business, your services, your clients, your colleagues, your boss – and just know, that with clarity comes peace – and I know you want peace.

So, when you have clarity, you have radical honesty, improved transparency, and you’re able to identify what you want easily and efficiently. 

BUT! If you’re missing clarity, you’re likely experiencing some serious pain.

HERE’S WHAT THAT MIGHT LOOK LIKE: Being Unclear and Uncertain. Or, another I hear often from clients, is an IMPOSTER. 

In yourself, in your work, in your skills, in your ability to sit at that table and not look stupid, in your ability to speak up.

You might believe that you can show up, but when you get there, you might feel unsure and waffle and waver and end up agreeing to something you don’t want to do.

You might feel like you know exactly what you want, but once an opportunity gets in front of you, you say yes when every fiber of your body says to say no, because you’re afraid another opportunity like it won’t come around, but that opportunity is not for you in the long-run and so you regret it and get stuck with it anyway – jumping in too fast.

You might think that you want to do it all, and serve everyone and do everything, but in reality, in the quiet and darkness of your bedroom at 3 am staring at the ceiling, you secretly with you could do ONE or two things, yet you keep doing other things you don’t want, and it’s because they ASK for it and you feel like you need to say yes because you never said NO.

You might want to be awesome and believe you are awesome and can be everything to everyone, but you aren’t clear about how to approach an issue or problem or client or how to say no, so you say yes and then go down a million rabbit holes trying to fix something that you really shouldn’t be fixing to begin with – so many of my clients pick up something that doesn’t belong to them … or worse, they run after problems that no one has asked them to help fix – so they take on too much.

And maybe you feel good showing up, but you know you lack clarity in your scope of work, your specialty, your contract, your prices, your services, your fee schedule, your hourly rates, your project rates, your working hours, your vacation times, your no-work-email-response times, your me-time, your workflow, your processes and procedures, your intake, your EVERYTHING.

And if any of these resonated, don’t worry, I’M GOING TO HELP YOU PUT THIS INFORMATION TO GOOD USE. READY? 

Here’s your homework: For Clarity, pick ONE of its elements and write one thing, one baby step, you want to do to improve that item.

Is it radical honesty? Improved Transparency? Identifying what you want? And once you have those, ask yourself:

Who else is involved? Who can I get help from (hint, hint … hi, I am here for you)? What needs to happen to make this piece better, for you to get more clarity?

Once you have that, I want you to write a DEADLINE for when you’ll do that thing you’ve outlined – it can be today, tomorrow, December 31st – whatever you want – you pick. Go ahead and pause to write that down!

*PAUSE*

So, yes, Clarity, Confidence, and Courage are important, but it’s bigger than just that.

It’s how all the pieces of your life and your career fit together with those three – 

how every facet of your life feeds into those, and how all those feed into and support your life. 

Everything is connected. 

And that’s why the way I do things is different than other coaches and business consultants out there – 

My work is founded with YOU in mind – the REAL YOU – the one who maybe has some, but not all of these things – and it’s connected to your clients, and your plans and visions and dreams, your success, your goals – ALL OF IT.

I want to help you get back to who you are, what you want, and to know why you really want it. I want to challenge those expectations that you think you have of yourself, and help you get clear on what you want so that you can confidently tell others what you do and why you want what you want, so that you can say no to what you don’t want and yes to only what you want from this day forward!

So, as we start to round out the episode, I just want to say, that I CHOOSE to help lawyers like you reconnect who they are with what they do – to reconnect your intellectual self to your emotional self – so you can make solid, aligned decisions about the direction you actually want to go in. Could I be out there just litigating and enjoying being a beast in the courtroom? SURE I COULD. But even though I’m great at it, that’s not how I want to live my life. Those aren’t the feelings I want in my body day to day – the anguish, the anxiety, the stress. No amount of yoga or meditation will make that go away. You have to change how you work INSIDE the system – and you can choose to, or not. I still VERY much practice law, but I’ve built it in a way that is sustainable for me and allows me to help those I want to help in a way that feels good to everyone.

Most people think we need an external source to tell us what’s best for us, but really, WE HAVE TO GO INTO OURSELVES and poke around to know what we want OUT of life. I do this as an attorney, as a consultant, as a coach, as an educator. Most of the people I work with fall into one of three main categories – burned out, broke (or broken), and/or bored – or people who see that coming and want to do something about it. They’re doing all the things, and they’re doing all the things they think they should do, and worse, they’re doing all the things people told them to do – and getting NOWHERE. 

My hope for you is to help you NOT be like anyone else – you’re supposed to be YOU. 

The system wants you to be like everyone else – but not me. There’s a Ram Dass quote about costumes, you might have heard it before, it goes something like this: “In most of our human relationships, we spend much of our time reassuring one another that our costumes of identity are on straight.” 

But the question I ask myself is what if they’re not on straight for a reason? What if we feel like our identities are falling off and don’t fit because they were never meant to be there to begin with? What if we took the path of least resistance in our careers or had our path chosen by someone else (like when parents say it’s law school or med school, pick one, and we can’t bear the site of blood, so we go with law school, only to realize later on that there’s lots of blood in the law). What about making decisions that later on we wish we hadn’t? 

As we grow, and well into adulthood, our parents, guardians, families, friends, job titles, the media and more influence our choices each and every day. 

If you feel like you’re not wearing the right costume, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay, and that it’s time to get a new costume fitting. 

Whatever it is, life is too short to wear someone else’s version of you. 

For over 20 years, I’ve helped people from all walks of life to shed their lifelong costumes  and identities, helping them learn to embrace and love a new one, building the new version of themselves that was actually inside all along. 

And most of all, I want to empower you to be truly happy. If you’re scared of what that new costume could look like, I’m here for you. 

You’ve been taught to use your logical/rational mind and detach from emotion to be a zealous advocate and protect your clients, but that’s your JOB, that’s not who you ARE. 

I want to show you how to reconnect the two so you make decisions that benefit you AND the greater good. 

To be a Joyful and Thriving Lawyer. 

I come from a place of who YOU are, what YOU want, why YOU want it – not what everyone else wants you to do, say, be. So, while others are teaching you how to look OUT for validation and acceptance, I teach you how to look IN for that.

And a word of caution: *working with me will make you more dissatisfied with your current life and make you not want to put up with what you’ve always put up with – but the flip side of that is you will be incredibly motivated and disciplined to get where you want to be. That’s Clarity. And from that, comes Confidence and Courage. Those 3Cs get your life the way you want it.

I believe that we should live the life we want, have the rest we want, do the work we want, and I believe the way we’ve been taught to make decisions is wrong.

As an attorney, social worker, educator and coach, I approach situations differently.

I work hard to solve problems as quickly, efficiently and effectively as possible. And, I work with you to obtain relevant information that connects dots and identifies patterns so the issues you’re having (whether they just started being an issue or have been ongoing for a while) and how they can be avoided in the future.

And let’s just say I’m different, unlike any other lawyer you’ve ever met.

I’m a connector. I connect people with resources and help them find solutions. I coach, engage and empower.

I’m proactive. I anticipate and solve problems where possible and work with you to do something about it in the future.

I’m well-rounded and think outside of the box. In the design world, it’s known as “WYSIWYG” (pronounced “WIZ-ee-wig”): “what you see is what you get.” I will communicate with you and I will take the time to help you make the right decision for the long-run. I’m not looking for quick fixes. I want the right fix the first time. 

I’m results-focused. I’m the one you go to when you need something taken care of before it’s broken, and I’m definitely the one to go to if something needs to be fixed. If I can help you fix it, I will. And if I can’t, I’ll say so.

I’m dedicated. I only work with clients who actually want to resolve their issues permanently and are willing to trust me when I ask them to do something. My clients are willing to do the work to reach the desired results.

I’m honest and trustworthy. Working with attorneys and social workers and coaches is a very personal matter. The person you hire will be your partner through difficult times and they will know very personal things about you and your world. Pick someone you trust; someone who earns your trust from the first moment you meet. I will be incredibly candid with you – you have to be okay with honesty. I won’t pretend to know something I don’t, and I certainly will not let you pay me to do something that you, in fact, can do for yourself. Yes, seriously.

At the end of the day, I don’t want to be your go-to Gal Friday about the one issue that brought you here today. I want to be your go-to Gal Friday from this day forward on everything that comes your way. I want to be your coach, mentor and confidante. I want to be your life-long partner in success. 

So, you know what to do – let’s chat about what your 37 million dollar life looks like. I’m here, and I can’t wait to talk to you.

Scroll down to read along with the imperfect transcript

In this insightful episode, we delve into the crucial decision-making process lawyers face when transitioning careers. Drawing from real stories and expert advice, I bring you a strategic guide to not just survive but to thrive beyond the confines of traditional legal paths. As a seasoned legal professional, I share invaluable insights to help you navigate uncertainties and make intentional career choices.

Key Takeaways from the Episode

Strategic Transition: Learn the art of transitioning strategically, avoiding the pitfalls of hasty career moves.

Financial Freedom: Challenge the belief that high earnings are exclusive to traditional legal roles and explore a life of abundance beyond litigation.

Purposeful Decision-Making: Uncover the key questions to align your career with your passions and values.

Overcoming Burnout: Strategies to overcome burnout, especially in the face of pandemic challenges.

Legal Odyssey Stories: Explore real-life stories, like my Client’s pendulum swing we discussed in Episode 5, illustrating the journey from toxic work environments to fulfilling careers.

Select Quotes from the Episode

“We are all born holding one bucket of shit. Our job in life is to not carry two.” – Professor Bill Quigley, Loyola New Orleans Law 

“You can make 6 figures and have a wonderful life, if you want it, not litigating. The skills you have now will take you places you can’t even imagine.”

“Let’s make those answers match what matters to you so your future can be the one you imagine and daydream about.”

Your Next Step

Let’s connect via email! I’ll send you notifications on new podcast episodes, free resources, behind the scenes activities, first dibs at workshops and VIP Pre-Public Access, and more!

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Imperfect Transcript from this Episode

Alright, so let’s talk about what we came here to talk about: making the decision to transition into something new. 

Stay in the situation you’re in now where there’s mostly discomfort, or go into a new situation that you don’t know and feel excitement and discomfort. 

When lawyers are coming to me for help, it’s usually because they’re having difficulty identifying a career where they’re best suited, while simultaneously being able to manage their financial responsibilities. When they’re looking for a new job, they’re just looking for ANY job with ANY company, and they’re not being strategic about it. They jumped from job to job, firm to firm, and finding that all of them fail to meet their hopes and expectations. At the end of the day, they’re simply not happy with their current job or location or status. And honestly, what I hear most of all is that if they didn’t have bills to pay, they wouldn’t go to work. I hear that a lot. But, this is the capitalist society that we live in; so there are two options – make more to cover what exists now or intentionally have less so there’s less to pay for. 

I’ll share with you one of the most pivotal things I’ve ever been told. And it was by a Professor in law school, Professor Quigley – an incredible man and excellent human rights lawyer – who told us that we are all born holding one bucket of shit. Our job in life is to not carry two.

And I toook that to mean that when we are holding two buckets of shit, we have no free hands ot reach out for help or to help ourselves. He said that when we graduated, don’t get married, odn’t have kids, don’t buy a car, don’t buy a house. Just work for a couple of years, and if you still like it and still want to do it, then by all means, start layering things in. Otherwise, don’t take on more until you know you want it long-term. I wish every single law student knew that advice. Because this is how lawyers get stuck. Not because they can’t leave, but because they immediately went out and took on a ton of debt because they were making a ton of money. And when they do that, it doesn’t feel like there’s a way out. 

And here’s the other thing: most lawyers think they can only make that kind of money in the law, and that is absolutely not true. So let me dissuade you of that belief now, if you have it. You can make 6 figures and have a wonderful life, if you want it, not litigating. The skills you have now will take you places you can’t even imagine. But I don’t want you to be just anywhere – I want you to have the right projects, the right people, the right pay.

When they’re just starting out working with me, a lot of my clients tell me that it’s hard for them to want or to be excited about going to work in the morning. Most are currently looking for a new job, and have gotten stuck, especially since things have been harder during the pandemic. There aren’t as many job postings, and for those who can’t find something easily, or what they see doesn’t fit, it’s often because they feel like they’re at a disadvantage being a minority, graduating in the bottom half of their law school class, or being a government attorney and needing to shift. They’re not 100% sure what their next step is, and more often than not, when they’re trying to leave, it’s difficult because they’re burned out and covering all kinds of practice areas, including ones they’re not interested in, but due to turnover had been doing. 

You’ll remember NICOLE’S story from Episode 5, about the pendulum swing – of toxic to less toxic … 

There’s so much uncertainty with transition – no matter what it is, to full time private practice and expanding services or in-house or another firm. 

So, the moral of the story is this: you’re not alone in making hard decisions. Not only are you surrounded by a profession of lawyers who struggle with the same question, and it’s absolutely normal, but you have ME to help you. So let me leave you with three questions. Grab your paper:

First, if you won 37 million dollars tomorrow and never HAD to work another day in your life, what would you do with your time? Not the money, we know what you’d do with the money. But your time: how would you spend your days and evenings?

Answer that … and if you want to pause to write it out, go ahead. *PAUSE*

Second, why did you get into the law in the first place? Whose idea was it? When did you decide to go into law? Do you remember the exact moment? *PAUSE*

And third, last question – who do you serve now, who do you help? And once you answer that question, I want you to consider whether that matches your second answer. My experience has been that it won’t … if you’re listening to this podcast, it’s because you want something more in your career. 

I’m here for you. 

Let’s make those answers match what matters to you so your future can be the one you imagine and daydream about.