It’s better to lose a client than to spend every second of every day wishing you’d never taken them on. Red flags exist for a reason – pay attention to them.
Today, we’re talking about overcoming the fear of losing a client. Today, we’re going to dive into the EMOTIONAL side of this issue – some of the reasons why we’re so afraid to lose a client we don’t even want.
So … There was a time when I was so afraid to lose a client. It’s normal, especially when you’re first starting out. You think that you have to take everyone and anything that walks through the door. Cut your teeth. Earn your chops. Prove that you can do hard things.
Early on, I pretty much did take on everyone – even if I wasn’t always 100% sure about what I was supposed to do for the client. Sometimes, I brought on other people who knew more than me, just to take that client, instead of turning them down.
Yes, I learned a lot. But also, I hurt a lot. I didn’t do a good job of separating my needs from my wants. I didn’t do a good job of taking care of myself. I didn’t allow myself to get REALLY good at a handful of things. I was all over the place, working on completely different projects that required completely different skillsets – sometimes, all in the same day. And while yes, I got the client, I also got exhausted. I burned myself out trying to do too much, all at once.
After that nightmare client I mentioned before – you know the one, “Bailiff, STOP THAT WOMAN!” – I pulled back. I took a good hard look at my client roster – including clients I’d taken on in the past but whose projects were complete – and I did some serious soul searching.
- What did I love about each client? About each project? About the pay I received?
- What did I wish could have been different about the client? The project? The pay?
- What did I want to KEEP in my client demographics and psychographics? What kind of projects really lit me up and were totally worth my time and talent and energy? Which did I want to KEEP?
- What did I want to be known for? What were people asking of me that felt like a stretch? Where was I in my Zone of Excellence … and how could I get more of my Zone of Genius?
Looking at the answers of all those questions, I found clarity around the kinds of people and projects and pay that were really RIGHT for me, and I spent some time mapping out what it would look like to help professionals – people just like you – solve problems.
The truth is, contracts and negotiations and project management have always been my jam. I realized that my best creative sparks came from creating OPPORTUNITY for a client, not only in fixing their problems. I didn’t want to just FIX a problem, I wanted to PREVENT it from ever happening again.
I wanted to empower my clients. So they didn’t need me – but so they trusted me when they wanted support in avoiding a problem in the future.
Too many creatives are worried about losing a client. But when you have clarity around who you are, what you want your professional life to look like, and why that is, then you don’t need to keep taking every single client that walks in the door. You don’t have to come to the table from a place of scarcity mindset, scared that you won’t make the bills this month. Because when you know who you want to work with, and the kind of work you want to do, and why that kind of work matters to you, then you attract those exact kinds of people and projects and pay. The right stuff will come to you – not because you have the perfect words or the perfect awards for your work, but because your energy will attract others who VALUE you and what lights you up.
The real problem is that we’re taught that we should just be grateful for anything we can get. That we’re “lucky” if someone wants to work with us. That we shouldn’t make people mad. That we should make people happy by giving to them if we can. But that’s so wrong.
THEY should be grateful they found YOU. THEY are LUCKY they found YOU. THEY do not deserve every last piece of your time, talent, and energy just because they want it.
A lot of people feel like they aren’t worthy of a great client. They think they have to prove themselves. To show they have value. Trying to attract attention from anyone, just to feel like they matter. Always in a hurry to just “get the client” – instead of worrying about getting the RIGHT client.
And actually, as I’m saying this, if you flip this idea on its head, maybe clients should have to do that for YOU. They should prove they’re going to be a great client. They should show they value you. They should be chomping at the bit to get you and your genius. They should show you that they are the right client for YOU.
I want you to stop avoiding the truth – don’t avoid confrontation. Stop trying to convince yourself a client is “right” for you – and instead, start asking the questions that you need answers to, to ensure that next client is the RIGHT client for you.
Looking back, if I wanted only clients who valued me and treated me with respect and trusted me to lead them to the right solution for them, then knowing what I know now? I would have started asking the questions that I needed answers to a lot sooner and way before they became my client. To ensure that next client was the RIGHT client for ME.
So, “What Would Sheila Say” to Younger Sheila?
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At the end of the day, we all want the people, projects, and pay that feels good from the start, all the way through to the end.
I know what it’s like to take on people and projects that were in my wheelhouse, but the pay wasn’t great. I know what it’s like to take on projects and pay that were great, but the client SUCKED. I know what it’s like to say yes to the money, and suffer day by day because of the people and the project. You don’t have to do that. You can choose to skip that part of your suffering. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone – you already know you CAN do it. The question is not whether you CAN do something. The question is whether you actually WANT to do it.
I had to work on my own clarity around the clients I DID NOT want, in order to have confidence in my processes. That gave me the courage I needed to say NO to clients – well, I’d actually say “thank you for thinking of me, and also, no, thank you” – especially when the clients were not the right fit for me, even if the work and pay sounded good. Because when you say no to the clients that aren’t right for you, you actually put out a bit of a beacon into the universe – to say, “hey Universe, I don’t want those kinds of people, so don’t send them to me.” Yes, it’s a little woo-woo, but you get what you put out there. And if you keep taking every crappy client because you’re afraid of losing a client, then you’ll keep getting crappy clients. It’ll be a bit of a dip, while the Universe course corrects, but it’s worth it.
And look, I’ve had hundreds of clients over the years with this same situation – I told you about Bob, I interviewed clients in past episodes – and I have clients now who will tell you that it is not worth keeping the clients that are zeros on a scale of 1 to 5 … because the truth is, you deserve 5s. One of my clients calls her 5s her ALL-STARS. Because that’s what being a kickass client is – bringing the right project, the right pay, and the right attitude to the table.
- Society wants you to believe that the only way to make money is to say yes to anything that falls into your lap.
- Society wants you to believe that you should take the money because it’s money, always taking more for the sake of more.
- Society wants you to look externally for proof that you have value and worth as a professional.
And as always, Society could not be more WRONG.
You aren’t just a service-provider producing a deliverable. You’re a human who probably wants to spend your days and energy and talent beautifying our world and not adding to the noise, or helping yucky people get one over on people. I’m sure you’re mission-driven and you don’t want to do work that hurts others – I know I don’t.
If you take the time to really look at the people and projects and pay you’ve been attracting, I am pretty certain that you’ll see a pattern. In fact, you probably already know the pattern. You probably know the exact red flags I’m talking about. And now, all you have to do is create a system – a process … something in your intake form – that will help you catch those up front. Chances are, if you do, you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache. And, if you’re not sure how to do that or where to start, schedule a Strategy Call with me.
Next Steps
- Schedule a Strategy Call with me today
- Free Interactive Guide: “12 Simple Tweaks to a Clearer Client Contract”
- Get on the Waitlist for the 8-Week Contracts Course!
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Hi! I’m Sheila, your guide to a Joyful and Thriving™ creative life! I have lots of titles: attorney, social worker, coach, consultant, keynote speaker, educator. And while I’m proud of those titles, I am a human first and a title second – just like you. I want to help you reset expectations, set boundaries, and make aligned decisions, so you can streamline and focus your energy on the people, projects, and pay that actually matter to you.
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