If a client isn’t valuing you or your experience, say something. Don’t mince words. Don’t be afraid. Show them what you’re worth.
Every now and again, no matter how much I do to lay the groundwork and to shore up a good foundation for my relationships with my clients, sometimes I feel like my clients don’t value me. And truth be told, it has way more to do with me than it does with them, BUT, and here’s a big BUT, even though I feel that way, I’m still allowed to do something about it.
And that’s what we’re talking about today: how to handle it if a client isn’t valuing you or your experience.
Most creatives, highly-sensitive people with a keen eye for beauty, go inward and they go quiet when they don’t feel properly valued. Instead of stepping UP, they step BACK.
But when you have confidence in your worth, then you don’t need to keep silencing yourself or keeping your mouth, and you don’t need to work harder, all in the hopes that they will SEE your worth.
You see, the real problem with feeling like clients don’t value you is that maybe, just maybe – you are not valuing yourself. And yes, maybe the client is not valuing you, but that might be – maybe, just maybe – because you are not telling them everything they need to know about how awesome you are, how much you’re doing behind the scenes to make things happen. So they have no idea what you’re doing (or not), so it’s not reasonable or realistic to expect that they understand. They don’t understand unless you tell them.
Clients don’t know how to value you UNLESS YOU TELL THEM how to value you. And it’s not just about the money either. It’s about you, the HUMAN.
And look, it’s perfectly normal.
A lot of people feel disappointed, gloomy, dismayed, even neglected or taken advantage of, when they don’t feel properly valued.
That’s because we all deserve to be seen and recognized and appreciated. And when we don’t feel that way – when we don’t feel valued – we think we’ve done something wrong.
And well, maybe it is something quote unquote “WRONG” – like I said earlier, instead of stepping UP, we tend to step BACK. We tend to believe that not being valued properly is somehow a reflection on our worth. And it’s not.
So instead of getting quiet when you start feeling undervalued, I want you to start speaking up. If a client isn’t valuing you or your experience, say something. Don’t mince words. Don’t be afraid. Show them – TELL THEM – what you’re worth. Because they won’t know unless you tell them.
But, this is easier said than done, right? And maybe you’re thinking, “BUT SHEILA! THAT IS SO HARD! What if they get mad at me? What if they fire me? What if they laugh in my face? What if I tell them what I think and feel and instead of acknowledging it, they ignore it?”
And I hear this. And what I will say is in order to have clients who value you, they need to know HOW to value you.
Because value is not just about money, or accolades. Value is not just your love language. Value is about your boundaries – what you will do, won’t do, are doing, and why – and it’s about communicating that to clients so that they understand what YOU need from them. Those are expectations. Remember Episode 4? Managing Expectations – the ones YOU have of others? I’m linking it below. Go listen after this.
So, “What Would Sheila Say” about all this?
🎧 LISTEN HERE FOR MY ADVICE! 🎧
And truth be told, we all struggle with this. My clients and students and colleagues struggle with this. It’s not a one-time deal. It’s always a lesson to be learned in making yourself heard and seen and appreciated. We grow, they grow. We do it together. And if a client leaves because you told them how best to value you, that’s their decision. And if that’s the case, chances are high high high that they would have fought you on your last bill. I’m being honest here. Because people like that, people like that. It is what it is. But their actions are not always a reflection on you – and it’s up to you to tell them what you need.
So, as we start wrapping up, let me just say this:
- We are working in a world where people are learning that they do not have to respect anyone – not even themselves.
- We are working in a world where people learn to define themselves by THINGS and not values, morals, ethics.
- We are working in a world where we feel we have to prove ourselves, constantly looking outward for validation and love and direction.
And while these things are facts , they don’t have to be YOUR FACTS.
I believe we can change the world by changing the way we work inside of it.
- We can respect ourselves, even if our clients don’t respect us or themselves.
- We can choose to communicate our needs, treating people the way they deserve to be treated and demanding that of our clients, too.
- We can decide that instead of spending all that energy looking outward, that we can look inward – and then speak our truth.
So, yes, you could probably just read this (or listen to this episode) and go about your day, not doing anything to shore up your value. Or, you could just take a moment to write out what you need from a client who you feel is undervaluing you. Give yourself the space to come up with a solution – an offer in how to resolve that feeling, how to move forward together on the same page.
And if you’re struggling to find the words, scripts are my JAM – I’d love to help you map that out. That’s a perfect situation for a Roadmap to Freedom Strategy Session. We can go through it, map it all out, review your contract together, and then script it – we’ll come up with a plan for how to handle it, together.
You’re not alone. You were never alone. I’m here for you, and so many others are going through this, too. It’s going to be okay – as long as you step UP. Don’t step back.
Next Steps
- Schedule a Roadmap to Freedom™ Strategy Session
- Which client-pleasing pattern is holding you back? Take the Quiz!
- Episode 4: Managing Expectations (The ones you have of others)
- Free Interactive Guide: “12 Simple Tweaks to a Clearer Client Contract”
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Hi! I’m Sheila, your guide to a Joyful and Thriving™ creative life! I have lots of titles: attorney, social worker, coach, consultant, keynote speaker, educator. And while I’m proud of those titles, I am a human first and a title second – just like you. I want to help you reset expectations, set boundaries, and make aligned decisions, so you can streamline and focus your energy on the people, projects, and pay that actually matter to you.
Instagram: @sheilamwilkinson | LinkedIn
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