A mission statement is not simply an “I help” statement or something you throw on your website or LinkedIn profile. It’s way more than that.
A mission statement feeds into your Vision, which we’ll talk about in the Episode 22. But for now, get back to the basics. In this episode, we’re covering:
- What it means when we make decisions about our mission based on others
- How your mission should be both a repellant and an attractant
- How to make decisions that are fully aligned with your mission
Y’all ready? Let’s do this!
The following is an imperfect transcript of the Episode (we’re all human!)
Hey, y’all Sheila Wilkinson here. And welcome back to a new episode! Thank you again for listening.
Today is Episode 21 and the second episode in our next phase of work together, which is about delving deeper. To start start or change your business, understanding more deeply what you need to know when you’re planning or drafting and negotiating contracts recognizing what’s your property, and not. And how to make sure that the people in the projects and the pay that you are attracting in your life and your career and your business, if you have one are the right people, the right projects, the right pay. And to make sure this is happening. You need to know who you are, what you want, why you want it.
You must have clarity, because that mission is more than just a pitch that you tell others; it’s a window into your soul, a window into your personhood.
And no matter what the Google says, a personal, professional, and business’s mission are really not that different. And today I’m going to walk you through why I believe that.
At the end of the episode, I’m going to leave you with three main questions for you to ask yourself. And you can ask those to yourself today, go back and listen again, ask them again. That’s going to help you to start to reflect on these things. And if you get stuck and you need help, I’m here for you. Just reach out. Okay? So in this episode, we’re covering what it means when we make decisions about who we are, what we want and why we want it based on the external, we’re going to be talking about how your mission can be both a repellent and an attractant.
And we’re going to talk about how to make decisions that are fully aligned with your mission.
All right. So today we are talking about your mission statement. And last time we talked about the numbers associated with whether a business makes it past a year, three years, five years, 10 years, and those numbers were staggering. And when we met last, I told you what I believe is the real reason that businesses do not make it.
And it’s not because of money or marketing or specifically who is in charge, right. Or even if they have a business plan. I don’t think that that’s the real reason. I think the real reason is much simpler than that and something that no one talks about. And it’s clarity.
What I talked about last time is the way that people hold themselves back. They sabotage themselves. They believe the lies that society has told them, the lessons that they’ve learned over the years from their family and their colleagues and clergy and friends. And just by watching TV. They believe that they are not good enough and smart enough and savvy enough and quick enough.
And they’re trying to convince everyone that they know all the answers. They’re trying to convince everyone that they have the answers to everyone’s questions. They’re trying to attract the wrong attention. They’re fixated on finding love or direction, and they’re holding onto things that are not good for them.
They’re in a hurry to get free of pressure. So they’re just go, go, go, do, do, do check all the things off the boxes. They avoid that confrontation and the truth, and they never know when enough is enough. And in so many ways, they’re trying to prove themselves to get approval. Acceptance, validation, love, respect.
And you know what all of this means, right? When we’re making decisions about who we are and what we want and why we want it. We’re often guided by the outside the external. Rarely does the advice we’re given, tell us to look inward. And if we are told this, we’re still bombarded with shoulda coulda wouldas.
So that means that people never truly listen to themselves. They make decisions about how they should live their lives. And those are just expectations that others have explicitly told us that they have of us, or they make decisions about how they could live their lives. And those are the expectations we think others have of us. And those are just assumptions. And we all know what happens when we assume . And they make decisions about how they would live their lives. These are the expectations we have of ourselves. So I want you to think back to those four expectations, what’s the one main type of expectation missing in this list.
It’s the one that we expect of others. And this is where having a mission is so important. You need to know who you are, what you want, why you want it. And then you need to tell others this, not in a pitch kind of salesy way. Right. But you need to communicate. And that part’s the scariest part. It’s the part where you realize that if you tell people the truth about yourself and what you will and will not stand for that, they are going to just walk away.
But here’s the thing. A mission is supposed to make people walk away from you. A mission is your guiding light. Your beacon of, Hey, this is who I am. And if you don’t like it, suck it look the other way. Keep walking, keep going. These are not the droids you’re looking for.
But that’s scary for people. Because we have been told to keep the peace and don’t rock the boat and be polite and be nice to people, even when they’re hateful towards us, even when they’re abusive towards us, we have been socialized to not stand up for ourselves, just keep the status quo.
And by all means, if you are not happy with your current status in life, and you want something to change, if you do not want to keep living your life the way you live it now, then you should keep listening because I have plenty to tell you, if you want to hear it, you will never find fulfillment and work in life and relationships and yourself, and you will never ever reach the level of achievement, self-esteem, competence that you want. You will never have the courage to really live your life the way you want to, unless you scare some people off.
You heard me scare them off, put on the Halloween costume, that is the real you underneath all the pleasantries and the right words and tell people to shove off. People keep themselves from getting what they want because they’re afraid.
So if you’re constantly feeling everything’s out of reach, then rather than accept that, that is the way reflect back. Look at yourself the way you work with people, the way you work in your projects, the way you accept, pay, or lack thereof. Ask yourself, is this how I want to spend the next 20, 30, 40 years of my life? Even one year of your life? Is this the person I want to be known as is this the person I want to be described at, at my funeral? Maybe instead you want to be known as the person who cared for themselves first so that they could care for other second, that you knew your values and refused to accept anything less than them.
That you knew exactly what you wanted and made the decisions to make that happen, that you set boundaries, set clear expectations for yourself and others and closed doors. closed doors to all, but the most precious, important work and people which led you to be the most wildly successful, the most wildly joyful, the most wildly happy person you’ve ever been.
That you knew who you were and what you wanted and that the direction you were going in was the right direction for you. And you stayed the course, despite what everyone told you that you should do or could do or would do if only blah, blah, blah, your purpose, your values, your goals, they are as much a personal mission as they are your professional mission. And if you have a business, your business’s mission. You know why, because you are the person doing the work inside of your life, inside of your career, inside of your company.
And if you are not clear about who you are and what you want and why you want it, and you do not have that clarity, you will never, and I mean, never ever get what you want.
I didn’t say that you wouldn’t get something. Of course you’ll get something. You might get people, you might get projects and you might get pay, but is it the kinds of people and projects and pay you want in the deepest parts of you. And maybe that feels harsh as you’re listening to this, that I’m telling you that you’re never going to get what you want.
If you keep going down that road and truth be told, you know, I kind of mean to be harsh because if you’re feeling like you’re living someone else’s life, you are, because if you’re dreading to go to work every day and have, you know, the Sunday Scaries or hate Mondays, you are not the one in control of your life.
Because if you started a business or took a certain job to have freedom and flexibility and the funds to live life as you want, but you’re beholden to it and don’t feel like you can walk away or take a vacation or take care of yourself. You are the one standing in your way, not your job, not your boss, not your clients, not your bills, not your time.
You, if you attract the wrong kinds of people and projects and pay. And you feel like you have to keep accepting it because you have to pay bills or living, you know, you’re living payments, a payment or check to check, and you’re not happy with your current balance in life. And I don’t mean just your bank balance and you want to build a future, but you feel like you can’t because you’re too busy and you’re keeping all these external pieces of your life, quote, unquote, alive and going, then you are not living for you.
And this is where your mission comes in. Your mission is about your WHY. Not your who, not your what, your why must permeate everything you do in your personal life, professional business, career, everything. And your mission is your guide to every single decision you make going forward.
You will always come back to your mission always. And you will only make decisions that are aligned with your mission. And since we’re on the subject of sacrifice, living for others is not a badge of honor. Living for others is not a sign of worthiness. Living for others is not evidence that you’re valued. Living for others is not living for yourself no matter how many people and institutions tell you otherwise. Living for you gives you the opportunity to honor yourself, to show yourself that you believe that you are worthy of the right people in the right projects and the right pay. Living for you, shows you that you are valued and loved.
So stop looking outward for your reason. Stop looking outward for your why, of who you are and what you want, why you want it. When you start to look inward and really, truly listen, you can start to know your why -your mission. It might take a while to parse through and unlearn and decondition yourself from all of the message you’ve been taught your whole life.
And that’s what I’m here for. Right? If you want a coach and a lawyer, an educator, who’s going to tell you what’s real and what’s not, then I’m your girl because who you are matters to me. What you want matters to me, why you want it matters to me, because when you are your most happy, your most joyful, most fulfilled, most successful, most clear, most confident, most courageous, you make your world, our world a better place. And if the whole world followed what was in their hearts and souls of what is right, instead of vying what they think they should or could or would be doing with something different when they accept that, who they are and what they want is the truth, their mission in life becomes easily defined.
And we have a world where we do not need to prove ourselves. We can literally just be. Live love, let go and be in peace. And when you start down this road, it’s normal to question, it’s normal to be scared and excited and to want someone to believe in you and make you believe in yourself and that’s me, right?
I’m that girl. I am your girl. if you’re tired of looking for help and not being able to find it, you found it, but the best part is, it’s my job to help you find yourself because helping you find yourself helps me, cement myself, even deeper into who I am.
Your clarity is not out of reach. You might be feeling fuzzy, or you might know that there is more to life than what exists now. But you can’t find that out there external to you. You have to find that inside of you, this is why when you job hop, job hop, job hop, you find a new job. And you’re like, oh, this is a great job. And six months in you’re like, oh God, this is terrible. It’s kind of like my old job. Yeah. Because you were just looking for a j.o.b.. You were not looking for YOU.
You have to find you; what’s going on inside of you. Who you are, what you want, why you want it, these things show up in everything you do, and you have to show up as you, every single day. We’ve been taught that we must actually show up as the people who people want us to be, because that is the quote unquote person who will be accepted and loved and validated and respected, which is a bunch of crock.
And I said last time, that could not be farther from the truth. If everyone is doing what everyone else is doing, then no one is doing what they want to do. And that is where your mission lies inside of the gap between who you think you are and who you want to be. That quiet space, that lingers, when you close your eyes at night to go to sleep, that noisy space, when it wakes you up three hours later and says, you didn’t do enough, or you weren’t enough, or you didn’t say the right thing, and you’ve got a big day ahead of you. So get ready.
Listen for the messages you’re getting sort through the ones that matter to you ask why do they matter to me and then determine where your values are in all of that. And whether the people in the projects and the pay you’re receiving you’re allowing into your life are aligned with your values. You, the real you that is whispering sometimes screaming for you to listen.
People spend a lifetime only doing what they think that they should be doing. And then when they can make their own decisions, they build a life, a career, a business based on someone else’s poor, structures. It’s a cycle, a vicious, terrible cycle. And like I said, last time and I have been saying repeatedly, and I hope that you’ve gotten this message by now, is that the easiest way, the quickest way, the most fulfilling way to get the people and the projects and the pay that you want is clarity.
Clarity in your mission is imperative, brutal, radical honesty, transparency with every single person you come into contact with, even your friends, even your family. Identifying who you are, what you want and why you want it. That’s your mission. And when you’re able to do that, you will know in your heart of hearts, the kinds of people in the pay and the projects you actually want deep down in the depths of your soul.
This does not come overnight. Y’all this takes time. And this is why I asked you in the last episode to slow down because we’re conditioned and socialized to keep going despite the fear, despite the doubt, when in reality, that’s what you should stop. Pause. Sit in it. This is the work I do. This is the work I do with clients, right?
Uncomfortable silences, telling it like it is, sharing love. Even when you don’t feel love for yourself or your life. Because once you take the time to know it, your mission can become very clear your purpose, your values, your goal. They will amble right on up right. Easily up to the forefront, slowing down, getting help, getting someone who can help you tap into who you are, what you want and why you want it can get you the clarity that you want.
And remember. Overcoming anything is often a matter of reframing it. My mission is to help you reconnect who you are, to what you want to help you reconnect your intellectual self, to your emotional self. To help you get the clarity you don’t even realize you need so that you can have the confidence and the courage to live your life the way you want to, to run your business the way you want to, to have the career you want. And not the one you think you’re supposed to have. Because who you are matters, what you want matters, why you want what you want matters. And I want you to dig deep. I want you to know who you are, what you want and why you want it.
I want you to have the clarity and the confidence and the courage to use those three elements together to make the life that’s right for you. And remember when I say right what I really mean as aligned, in alignment, the way you are meant to live your life, not the way you think or thought you were supposed to.
So what does this have to do with your mission? Everything. When it comes to your business, your career, your life, you are the one who has to decide. You have to be different. Be you be unique. You have to show up in the world as you and the right people will come. The right projects will come. The right pay will come.
You have to live your life and navigate your career and run your business in the way it feels most right. Most aligned for you. And when you feel doubts, listen to it, don’t move forward despite the doubt; that is a disconnected way to live. Stop. Pause ask, listen, because when you feel doubt, that’s because your body, your soul knows that the path that you are on is the wrong path.
It’s not fear. It’s doubt. We’re all different, right? We are all raised differently. We have different genetic codes. We have different experiences, different expectations. You have to do, you. Here are your three questions to ask yourself. Then I want you to use to help you start on your path to developing your mission today.
Okay. And know that I’m here if you need anything or want to work together to hone this in and to get you on your path, the right path, the aligned path.
- Number one, when you’re feeling all the feels, listen for the messages you’re getting and ask yourself, what am I thinking right now? How does that make me feel? That’s the intellectual and that is the emotional right.
- Number two, sort through the ones that matter to you, the ones you want to feel and think and ask yourself, why do these matter to me? And remember your four types of expectations. These are going to be very important when you do the second step.
- Third step – number three. To determine where your values fall in all of the things that you were feeling and thinking. And whether the situation at hand, the way you think, how you feel are leading to the people and the projects and the pay you’re receiving- that you’re allowing into your life- and whether those are aligned with your values, you, the real you that’s whispering, that’s screaming for you to listen.
And you can always go back and remember very early on. I said, I recommend that you listen to every episode twice, you’re going to get the first initial gut reaction. And then when you go back and you do the exercises in the episodes, you’ll see it in a different light. So go back and listen to this episode later, before you sit down to do this exercise, and if you haven’t already, those expectation episodes are going to be really helpful for you. If you haven’t listened to them already. , those are episodes three through six. I would seriously, highly recommend you go and listen to them. And if you’ve already listened to them and it’s been a while, then go back and listen to them again.
Okay. Remember you are human. You don’t know it all. You’re not expected to know it all. Life is about navigating the depths of humanity, together. Expectations control health, your power team, your power tools, the goals and intentions, but most importantly, giving yourself permission to be yourself, because that is where your mission lies.
And as I said earlier, trouble on the horizon overcoming. It is often a matter of reframing it. And if you feel like you can’t do that alone, That’s what I’m here for. Reach out. Let’s talk, let’s figure it out for you, because it matters to me that you are living the life that you want to live for yourself, for others, for your family, for your friends.
We’re supposed to live our lives for ourselves, but our people in our circle, they, they feel that they see that and they wanna help. But I want them to help you and support you in the way that is right for you, not in the way that they think that they’re supposed to be supporting you and helping you, because really they’re probably getting in your way.
All right. So we’re going to round out this episode. Next time, we’re going to be talking about vision and how your mission and your vision kind of come together. So we’ll be kind of retouching back on mission stuff. We’ll talk about vision. We’ll talk about values. So let’s round out this episode, though. You again, as always, you are a human being, right?
You’re going to have thoughts and feelings about business and your career and your clients and your work-life integration and balance and time and schedules and pricing and contracts, your responsibilities, everything that’s perfectly normal, right? How you react is one thing, how you respond is quite another.
And so what I hope that you got out of this episode is that your mission is more than just a pitch. It’s more than just a thing you tell others to make them like you or give you work or money. The real reason you need a mission is because your mission is about you and how you feel about who you are, what you want, why you want it.
Because once you know that, you can rest soundly at night, knowing that the right people, the right projects, the right pay will come your way. And the wrong ones will go away. That is how it can be both an attractant and a repellent and that’s alignment. And when you’re aligned with your mission, your life is yours and no one else’s.
And this is my job. As a coach, as a lawyer, to help you build your life and your career and your business, the way it will work best for you, not the way other people tell you how to do it. Not the other way that people tell you how to do you. When you were clear about who you are and what you want and why you want it, the right people and the right projects and pay will come.
And if you need help with that, then I’m your girl. So I’d love to know what resonated in today’s show. Share it with me, send me an email DME and leave a review, whatever I am here, you know how to find me. And if you’d liked what we did today on this podcast, then I think you will love working with me.
First step though is to take one single solitary baby step towards what you want. You can hop on over to https://whatwouldsheilasay.com, click on info and resources. Sign up, or follow me over on Instagram at @sheilamwilkinson. Please share this episode with someone who needs a bit of tough and love today and listen twice if that person is you.
And with that, I will let you get back to your day. Enjoy yourself, do something nice for yourself and remember that every empowered, super powered, creative moment that you build for yourself, your career, your business. It’s an opportunity to make the world a better place. And I want you to go out and do that. See you next time!
Thanks for listening to this episode. I hope it was illuminating! My mission is to help service-based professionals figure out exactly what they want, realize it’s 100% within reach, and create a simple, actionable plan that will get them there (without having to burn everything to the ground and start from scratch!), and I’d love to support you.
Here are some ways you can start creating your rich, happy life today:
- Start getting real clarity in your contracts with this FREE Contracts Guide!
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- Get Boundaries *and* Balance in this On-Demand Workshop ($29)
- Apply for our next round of group coaching (Building Blocks) to start getting the clarity you didn’t know you needed!
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