Struggling with a client who crossed the line?
Today, we’re talking about what to do, and before we dive in, here’s what I have to say:
You can always fire a client – except when you can’t.
There was a time when I had disrespectful clients. And not even necessarily overtly rude – but disrespectful of my time, my energy, my talents. I wasn’t good about setting boundaries with my clients early on in my career, so I struggled with what to do about clients who crossed the line. I had a million questions:
- Do I fire my client?
- Give my client a warning?
- What do I say to the client?
- When should I say it? Before I get paid or after?
So what’s the right time for telling a client they’re fired?
The right time is when that disrespectful thing happens. Because if you let one thing slide, then they’ll learn that it’s okay.
But firing a client when you have a contract – or don’t have one – can be tricky.
Most creatives are looking at their clients as MONEY. In reality, we need to be looking at clients like HUMANS.
If you’re so focused on the MONEY you’re getting from the client, you’ll put up with crap you don’t need to, and probably for not enough money to put up with that crap!
When you have clarity around what you will and will not put up with from clients, then you don’t need to keep dehumanizing yourself, keeping yourself small, or staying quiet when you want to say something. You won’t keep waiting for them to notice your value or worth. You won’t need to work harder to prove your value or worth.
The bigger problem here is that we think that clients have all the control, and that’s just NOT true.
A lot of people are surprised that first time a client is disrespectful of their time or energy or talent. They question themselves, wondering what THEY did wrong, rarely thinking about what the client did wrong.
That’s because they think they somehow caused the client to be disrespectful. This creates a cycle of shame and disappointment, and then that’s when the overachieving bug kicks in. They think that because the client is disrespectful, that it must mean the client doesn’t see their value or worth, so they start over-delivering.
But none of this is actually true. Somehow, that client got past your intake form, they weren’t weeded out in the most important phase – the consult – and that just means you need to revise your intake even more. You also need to get really clear in your messaging – what you will and will not put up with. And you need to make sure your contract reflects those deal-breakers for you.
Stop accepting disrespect. Start outlining the consequences of disrespect.
To have clients who respect you and never give you any grief, you need to tell clients what’s okay – and not okay, which is actually even more important – and then tell them the consequence of the behavior.
So, What Would Sheila Say?
🎧 LISTEN HERE FOR MY ADVICE & EXACT SCRIPTS! 🎧
These kinds of scripts work for any kind of disrespect – even you as a human: your race, your color, your religion, your gender, sex, sexual orientation, and even trans status. Anything. If you feel disrespected, you need to say so – and you need to do it sooner than later. Because the longer you wait, the worse it will get.
At the end of the day, we’re all looking for clients who GET us – who treat us with the respect we deserve and who honor our time, our talent, and our energy.
Early on, I struggled with this, but I had that crazy client that ran from me in the courtroom. You remember Episodes 82 and 83, yeah? Listen here:
- 🔗 EPISODE 82: Hidden Freelance contract gaps that could cost you big (and how to fix them)
- 🔗 EPISODE 83: Overcoming the Fear of Losing a Client (Defining Your Ideal Client)
After that, I never again allowed for disrespect in my client relationships. Ever.
And did it mean some people didn’t get what they wanted from me, when they wanted it? Absolutely.
Does it mean that sometimes, even now, clients don’t get what they want, when they want it? Yes.
But I’m much better now about communicating the consequences of the disrespect, which means clients like I used to get just don’t come into my world anymore.
That’s what I want for you.
I had to work on my own clarity around the boundaries and expectations I had of my clients. And when I had that clarity, I got confident in making decisions about that. And ultimately, at the end of the day, then I was able to feel like I was really truly protecting my peace and my heart and my reputation. So do you.
Now, all this kind of stuff lives in my contract – there’s a whole section on communication. And when I build contracts packages with my business and freelance clients, we add that in, too. It’s part of my process. You deserve that.
And look, it’s not like I’m the only one who’s dealt with this. I’m sure since you’re still listening, you have, too. We all have. It’s normal – but I don’t WANT it to be normal.
The only way we can change our industry is to change the way we work inside of it.
When we all focus on getting as much clarity as possible, we will all feel confident about our decisions. That means we will all feel courageous about setting those boundaries and communicating our expectations. And then we change the entire industry – all by protecting our peace. Every single time we go against the norm, or the so-called industry standard, we create ripple effects… and we give courage to another person who looks up to us.
So, add these kinds of things into your contracts, into your intakes, into your messaging. You’ll see a change. I’m sure of it.
So, as we wrap up, just know this:
- Society wants us to focus on the money in a client relationship, not the humans inside of it.
- Society wants us to allow for unrealistic expectations, and to be exhausted trying to make others happy, simply because there’s money attached to it.
- Society wants us to avoid confrontation and truth, so that we stay a cog in the wheel.
But all of this is so wrong.
I want you to flip all of that –
- Focus on the humanity in your client relationships.
- Communicate your very reasonable expectations and watch clients get happier with you.
- Address the elephant in the room before it’s a problem – don’t be a cog in the wheel.
And I know this probably seems hard. There are lots of issues underneath the surface – all those feelings of fear and nervousness and skepticism about whether this will work for YOU and YOUR specific clients.
But I’m telling you, it will. It all starts with trying. If you never try, you’ll never know. And then you’ll just be causing yourself stress and anxiety and frustration that’s not necessary.
And look, if a client keeps crossing the line with you and you never tell them the consequences of that, you’re only hurting yourself.
But if you tell them the issue, tell them the consequences, offer a solution, and they don’t take it, then by all means: FIRE THE CLIENT. Double-check the language in your contract if you have one, and then let them go. There is no amount of money worth heartache. None.
And, if all this resonated with you today and you want to be sure you have this kind of language in your contract, then you’re probably going to want to join us for the next round of my Contracts Clinic – a crash course in contracts – where I will walk you through how to build your custom client contract from scratch, or, if you already have one, resuscitate and revive it from the depths of procrastination! (We’ve all been there – no shame!)
I’ll throw the waitlist link into the show notes – but also, go do my free 12 Simple Tweaks Form to help you get a clearer client contract. I’m here if you need me.
Next Steps
- Free Interactive Guide: “12 Simple Tweaks to a Clearer Client Contract”
- Scripts for your Out of Office / Auto-Responder when you need more time
- Get on the Waitlist for the 8-Week Contracts Course!
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Hi! I’m Sheila, your guide to a Joyful and Thriving™ creative life! I have lots of titles: attorney, social worker, coach, consultant, keynote speaker, educator. And while I’m proud of those titles, I am a human first and a title second – just like you. I want to help you reset expectations, set boundaries, and make aligned decisions, so you can streamline and focus your energy on the people, projects, and pay that actually matter to you.
Instagram: @sheilamwilkinson | LinkedIn
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