How much should I be paid? How do I get new clients? What should I do next in life?
So many of us have these types of questions when it comes to starting a business or launching a new career.
However, in all my years of experience – legal, coaching, teaching, community outreach and development – the biggest trouble area to overcome before you start a business is centered around EXPECTATIONS, especially the ones we have of ourselves.
And that’s because of the characteristics surrounding those expectations, and how we’re socialized to think and behave, whether it’s from our parents, guardians, aunts, uncles, grandparents, teachers, mentors, advisors, spiritual teachings, books, media – everything.
When it comes to starting a new chapter, instead of focusing on how to hit the ground running, digging into the hustle and bustle, slow down and dig deep.
Take a second and ask yourself:
- What is the top frustration you have at home or work right now?
- Can this expectation be rooted somewhere in an expectation that you have of yourself?
- How does that frustrating or annoying situation revolve around an expectation of yourself?
- Why do you feel this way? What’s going on under the surface that’s making you feel this frustration – because that frustration is really at yourself, yes?
- Is the frustration, annoyance or aggravation with yourself reasonable?
- What is making you believe that you have to have that expectation of yourself?
You cannot expect of yourself what OTHERS tell you that you should expect of yourself.
We know this intellectually, but emotionally, we still think we can make emotional decisions with logic. Guess what? We can’t. So stop trying.
As you choose your career or business, understand that there is no straight answer, no one exact way to do things, no one single answer. It’s all about you, what you want, why you want it, and your expectations of yourself.
As you go about your day, think about this:
- When you’re feeling some kind of way, pay attention to how you’re feeling in that exact moment and take a breath.
- Identify and name your feelings.
- Identify the underlying issue.
- Note where and when the issue comes up. Look for the patterns in your life.
- Make a plan to communicate what you need and how to resolve the issue, including steps that need to be taken.
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